Foolish Shorts

The Barbed Wire Man

Wire. The man was made out of barbed wire. Because of that, people thought he was evil or mean. But he wasn’t. In truth, he was a generous man, a talented tailor and was adept at auto maintenance. Still, nobody got close to the man. Nobody shook his hand or hugged him. And it disheartened him. Until one day, he met a kindly, accepting fellow, who saw something in the barbed wire man. Something special. So he invited him out to the country, to his farm. Nobody ever saw the man after that, but wow, did the farm have a nice, new fence.

Chocolate House

Why couldn’t Howard have a house made out of chocolate? There was nothing in the building codes that said he couldn’t. So one day, he did it. He built himself a sensible little bungalow from rich, milk chocolate, with accenting dark chocolate trim. People mocked him saying, “You fool – that house won’t do you any good!” Then came the Great Caramel Sauce Storm, as it was called. And the neighbors didn’t laugh at Howard anymore.

Imaginary Friend

When I was a boy, I imagined a friend. He was always there when I needed him. He comforted me when I was sad. Listened when I was scared. Supported me when I failed. The years went by, and he never left my side. My problems changed, but his compassion never faltered. His dedication never wavered. And one day, I looked at him with gratitude and said, “You’ve done your duty. Be free!” But he would not go. He would not abandon me. He said we were connected eternally. So I was forced to imagine a restraining order. And I haven’t heard from him since.

For Love of Doughnuts

William tried to love other things as much as he loved doughnuts. He simply couldn’t. Because every time he went to kiss a girl, he looked at her lips and thought of a puffy glazed doughnut. Every time he tried to be passionate about a hobby like golf, he looked at the ball and thought of doughnut holes. And every time he tried to partake in the unconditional love of a pet, like a bear, and was chased into a broom closet and mauled, he thought of bear claws.

Obedient Winds

Walter found himself standing on the edge of a grand cliff. It was so very high up. So high, the clouds were below the soles of his shoes. Yet, he still desired to go higher. He summoned a powerful gust. “Come, Winds!” he shouted. And a powerful gust listened and obeyed, blowing the clouds into an exquisite spiral staircase. Eyes skyward and heart full of hope, he stepped. And he plunged uncontrollably down to the canyon below. For even if clouds look like stairs, man, they’re still clouds.

Foolish Shorts

Ridiculous Thirty Second Stories by Tom Witkowski

Photo Credit: Annie Spratt

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